Somewhere between the food, the drinks (so many!) and hugs from friends, I found peace.
Lots of soul searching lately probably helped.
I’ve made my decision. I made the announcement at work last week that I’m leaving to live in Australia. They’re all really excited for me. It feels good.
Tonight they brought me out for a lovely meal. They gave me a huge card with heartfelt messages, flowers, wine, and gift vouchers. I was touched.
They said things like, “We’ll have to come and visit!” It’s so weird because it sounds so real and so empty at the same time.
Real because they believe it as they’re saying it, and empty because I know they won’t. I went along with it because it made them happy. It made me happy, too. To borrow another sliver of reality for the space of a heartbeat.
“Yes, definitely,” I say, “I can’t wait.” My voice sounds so normal.
They’ve gone home now. My Uber is waiting. The driver is nice. He can see I’m struggling with the gifts. He helps me load them into the car.
“Nice problem to have,” he says. There’s something about his tone, so cheery and so sincere. It cuts through this sharply bittersweet moment and the truth spills out.
“I’m dying.”
He does a double-take.
“I have a tumor.” I tap my head. “Inoperable.”
“You can have chemo, though, right?” he says. He is so worried for me, he’s never met me, but he doesn’t want me to die. I like that. I’ll press it carefully, and pin it down in my memory. People can be beautiful.
“Too advanced,” I say. I tell him what a great evening I’ve had, and that they all thought I was leaving for Australia, so it was happy. He speaks politely, but his voice cracks. My heart breaks a little that I’ve upset him. I wish I could wrap him in this moment with me, where I feel so much love and contentment. Maybe in the morning I’ll rage and quake (again) but tonight is beautiful.
When we reach my flat, he won’t let me carry my things up. He’s the perfect gentleman. He rubs his knuckles across his eyes as he walks away.
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Word count excluding note: 366
Submitted on Thursday 18th July at nearly midnight! eeek!
*Quick Author’s Note*
First, and most importantly: thank you so much for reading my story! The ha’penny that Vocal will toss in my hat for your eyeballs landing on this humble piece will be well-spent.
If you enjoyed this one, the very best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another!
A Year of Stories
I’m writing a story every day this year. This one continues my 200 day streak since 1st January.
Please do consider lending your support to the other creators who are also on this madcap “a story every day” adventure. They are putting out excellent content every day!
Rachel Deeming
Gerard DiLeo
Please do leave me a comment. I try to reciprocate as many as I can. Leaving a comment makes that easier.
Thank you!
Thank you again, most sincerely. Especially if you are one of the wonderful people who has been staunchly reading these daily scribbles since the start of the year. I see you, and appreciate you very much indeed!